LET'S GO ON AN ADVENTURE, SHALL WE?

       Most children would never dream of discovering a dead body, but it was a hobby of mine to try to stumble across one while exploring the wilderness alone. Although, I will admit that I was more intrigued by the thought of solving a murder mystery myself rather than seeing the body. I was a Nancy Drew, Sherlock Holmes, Edgar Allan Poe, and Agatha Christie fan. The truth is that I wouldn't have known what to do with a dead body if I found one. I just wanted to try to figure out how it got there. It had to be a dead body though. Someone only slightly unconscious would have been tragically dull. 

       My parents never hesitated to get rid of me when the opportunity presented itself. I was usually sent to a babysitters house or some relative who didn't give a single fuck about what I was doing. Their only job was to make sure I was still breathing by the end of the day. This usually meant that as long as I was within earshot, I could go wherever and do whatever I pleased. Sometimes I might have strayed a bit too far, but I loved going into the woods and acting out scenes just like in the scary movies my aunt made me watch. I would walk around dramatically, pretending to be stalked by a deranged killer, who might at any moment jump out from behind a tree and grab me. Why was this one of my favorite pastimes you ask? Well, it's fun. Have you ever tried it? Don't knock it until you've tried it. 

       Anyway, my mom watched the news every morning, so I was always hearing about another dead guy discovered in the woods by a jogger or some other "lucky" citizen. I began to assume that wooded areas were the prime dumping ground for corpses. After spending so much time in the woods, it was only natural that I would expect to stumble upon one, right? Okay, maybe not natural... 

       Realistically, the creepiest thing that I encountered during one of my little adventures was a snake. It slithered right across my feet and I'm pretty sure I stood in place for a good ten minutes before running down the path and tripping over an exposed tree root. Blood everywhere. However, I never discovered any cadavers. How unfortunate.